“We can’t have girls!” my buddy declared one day at one of our casual lunch production meetings, “I gotta be able to fart on set.” We forced him to elaborate on this potentially limiting/web series-ruining decision, and he explained that he couldn’t do his best work when he felt uncomfortable. And it’s not comfortable holding in farts, as it turns out. On a side note, I also only recently found out that girls fart too, they just hold it in a lot more often. It must be one of the reasons girl power shows are on the rise – they feel free to let loose and do their best work (get those guys off set!).

Kari AKA Angel AKA Female

on the “boychicks” set

If you’ve endured the fart talk this far, you too clearly see some value in it as well. Even if it is simply the dispelling of that female non-flatuent mystique. What I have found to be true is that production does, in fact, go smoothest when people can fart. When they’re at their most comfortable. When you can try anything and everything. If you’re filming something like a low-budget web series, you’re in control of the creative process. Two things I’ve found that help when you’re in control: 1) Don’t take yourself too seriously, and 2) Git ‘er done.

The first is pretty self-explanatory… you really don’t want to get carried away shooting a low-budget web series, that’ll take all the fun out of it! Nah, hopefully you’re shooting some good scenes, but your B-roll is funnier to you than your best joke. The second is the name of an episode from one of my favorite shows of all time: Friday Night Lights. I use it here not because I need to, but because a part of me is always trying to get people to watch that show. And also because I need to.

Look! Another girl!

Just git. ‘er. done. The addendum to that is something my dad always says to me: “the perfect is the enemy of the good.” When you have control over your project, you want it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread. Every single episode. Of course. But goddam it, nothing’s gonna top sliced bread and you have to accept that. Be better than an unseeded pomegranate and call it a day. That’s still pretty freakin’ good. And at least it’s out there then, and you have a finished product. Frankly, that’s all that matters at the end of the week. I have friends who have been in development/production on their web series for a year plus… haven’t seen an episode yet. At this point, they’ve gotta be expecting it to be the 11th season of Friends (my other favorite show – am I forcing this?). God I miss that show.

In conclusion, don’t work with girls and please create something at least as good as Friends. Okay jokes. Girls rock and I’d quit everything if I never got to work with them. But also, seriously, go watch FNL and (re)watch Friends. Then go make something with your own friends.

 

p.s. we totally have girls on set. we just make sure they’re cool with us farting.